Road Trip And Motel Hell

You can’t make this stuff up.

I hit the road about six days ago due to pressing family matters and needed a place to stay for a good price so I headed to Hotwire.com for a Hot Rate deal.

The website offers a list of anonymous hotels near your destination and doesn’t reveal the name until you’ve booked. The trade-off for the missing info is a great price.

Like Hotwire, I won’t disclose the name of the hotel I picked but it was in South Tacoma, Washington. Not the best neighborhood, I thought, but why not give it a chance for forty-nine dollars a night?

I booked it for seven days. We left after one. Here are eleven reasons why:

  1. While waiting in the lobby, the conversation turns to a recent car prowling –  by one of the hotel employees.
  2. Your son, who stayed in the car, turned down three drug deals by the time you get back with the key.
  3. You have to pay your deposit in cash and don’t plan on picking it up before seven a.m. (wink wink).
  4. The hotel is located next to a freeway.
  5. Someone from across said freeway launches leftover fireworks mortars directly over the hotel: really big ones.
  6. Someone has taken the parking spot in front of your door leaving you with the space at the dark end of the lot.
  7. There are signs of a past forced entry into your room.
  8. You hear rap music at three in the morning and open the door to discover the source is the person who took your parking space.
  9. You wake up at eight to the same rap music – and a dog barking – right outside your door. The mortars are still coming.
  10. You meet your hotel neighbor who is the source of the barking (her dogs that is) – all three of them. She tells you how she inherited one from a guy who died in the room next to yours and explains how that is somehow connected to the car prowling story you heard in the lobby the night before.
  11. Sure enough; there is a car on cinder blocks in the parking lot.