Impulse-buy sports.
Since we can’t recreate away from home, our family’s been looking for new ways to keep busy here on our property. The only games we had were Uno and Pass The Pigs which were getting old.
Fortunately we have room outside to spread out so we looked for outdoor diversions.
A trip to the grocery store was the answer.
Bowling.
We found the giant bowling set in a display at the end of the Haircare isle. With fat, two-foot-tall plastic pins and a hollow ball, it is not to be confused with yard bowling.
It is an illegitimate game with implied rules and is guaranteed to be broken or forgotten about within twenty-four hours of purchase unless you consider the potential for creative destruction.
I couldn’t get the pins to stand up so I filled the bottoms with dirt making it impossible to knock them over with the shell that was the ball. After attempting to pack it, too, full of dirt with unsatisfactory results, I hung the pins from a tree and we threw rocks at them instead.
They’ve been sitting in the shed ever since except that I cut the bowling ball in half and used it for a smelting furnace mold.
Horseshoes – A short story.
My husband picked up the horseshoes game a few weeks ago and we set it up without reading the instructions as per protocol. We positioned the stakes as far apart as we figured we could throw then lobbed the shoes.
If not for the overhead screen of branches the game might have lasted.
All of the shoes, having been knocked off their trajectories, eventually ended up in the nearby bushes next to last-year’s lost cache of slingshot balls where they will remain until tick season is over.
Note to cat owners: Check the pits before gameplay.
Badminton – with an emphasis on bad.
Yesterday we picked up a badminton set, or rather, four racquets and eight shuttlecocks. Most of the family outdoor play equipment had sold out so there weren’t any full sets left on the shelf.
During the ten whole minutes we spent running around flailing at the birdie, we learned this sport is best played away from equipment, rocks and solar panels. My husband speculated that getting a net would also improve our game. Makes perfect sense.
Still, it beats Yellow Jacket Tennis – What is Black and Yellow and Flies All Over?.
Wiffleball – AKA long distance running.
This was another endcap special at Safeway. They were on sale at two for the price of one so I grabbed two.
Play involves mostly running after the ball which inevitably ends up in the bushes next to the horseshoes and the slingshot balls.
If you have an overly enthusiastic five-year-old who thinks running after a ball is the next best thing to ice cream, you can save a lot of energy.
Cornhole – Beanbags gone professional.
Cornhole came home the same day as the badminton set. I’d never heard of it.
It’s beanbags – outdoor beanbags.
It may be a professional sport according to the words emblazoned on the panels with the holes in them. I’ll have to check Youtube to see if it’s true.
My husband says I’m a shark and that I should play professionally. I have a hard time believing that. Maybe the hopscotch I played as a kid is finally paying off.
Thankfully, beanbags don’t roll.
Next week we get a pool.
Stories From Off The Grid. 